Every job I’ve ever had because I’m a lazy Millennial

I was riding the train back form work the other day and standing next to these two Naperville-looking Baby Boomer dads in jean shorts. They were on their way to the afternoon Cubs game, fighting their upcoming senility to remember the last time they rode the L. “Must have been ’94? ’95? Whenever Blues Traveler played the Metro.”

One of them got to talking the new intern at his firm. “Millennials. Eager, but not really committed,” he said, making sure there wasn’t anyone Periscoping nearby.

The other guy couldn’t agree more. “These kids, they come in, and when the clock hits 5, they’re gone. You know? They talk about all this stuff they want, but they’re not willing to put in the extra work you need to get it. You can’t ride a bike everywhere forever.

They waddled off the train at Addison to charge their Blackberries before the game. As the train pulled away, I watched them shrink into the crowd. Not all Millennials are the same, I thought. Some are in prison.

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